I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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