Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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