Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
