So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
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