I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
