I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize