This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
