I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
