sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
