I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So here I am, sexting at work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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