when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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