I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
