i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
