I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
