did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
