11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
