Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
