do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
