I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
