U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
