What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
