i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
