So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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