Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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