i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
