just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
