i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
