Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
