You just made me feel so damn special
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sorry about my life...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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