hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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