their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
