I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I love you.
Bad choice
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
