and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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