fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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