i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This house was built for laser tag.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
