come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
