My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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