I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pooping to opera.
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