i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
