how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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