i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
