I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize