i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize