who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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