Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
