Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I could make wine with my vomit
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
