im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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