i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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