Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
