Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Dick very happy bro
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
