he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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