Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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