nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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