the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
