your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
