and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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