I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
