youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
