I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
