Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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