i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
