yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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